Did you read that? “There is no bigger mark of insecurity than selfishness”…
This photo was sent to me from an old blog friend back at the beginning of the summer. About the time I was waist deep in coworker issues, family issues, and about to explode with dealing with selfish people. It seemed to be everywhere Shane and I turned. Just suffocating us to the point of crazy.
I’ve got to be honest with you, the minute I read this quote I followed it up with these words in my mind…..”That is so (her, him, them)” then i said, “I sure wish a these people would read this quote, take the hint and stop making us all crazy”.
Within minutes of saying the statements above, the Lord spoke to my heart very clearly. “So this is HER/THEM/HIM, but what are you going to do to make sure this doesn’t become YOU”.
He was right. It was getting on me and I couldn’t shake it. I’m a dealer personality and I could see that I wasn’t dealing with these feelings that were building up in me. I was about to tail spin.
So I did what I always do….I studied and researched and prayed. I felt like I needed to understand the mind of a person that is suffering from deep insecurities. I needed to be able to get to the root of the problem before I could figure out a plan to make sure I didn’t find myself in this deep pit like them.
It seemed appropriate to stay with Beth Moore and go back through her great book So long, Insecurity: You’ve been a bad friend. Great read! The entire book is based on of Proverbs 31:25 “SHE. IS. CLOTHED. WITH. STRENGTH. AND. DIGNITY.”
One of the very first things that jumped out at me was this statement…. “All INSECURITY is a cover-up for unbelief.”
And it makes sense to me. If we are so insecure, have turned completely inward, smelling of selfishness… then it has to go back to those feeling of…
1. God isn’t enough for me
2. He says He’ll supply all my needs but the truth is that I want what they have and to me He just doesn’t get it. I need to have material things, or emotional needs, or financial needs met like her/him/them.
3. I want to know God and be different but I really doubt things will change. He isn’t that big or mighty or important.
4. I have seen those that say they love God. But between you and me….they aren’t different. God doesn’t really do anything and his word isn’t powerful- everyone is just acting.
These statements, we make in our head, mean we don’t really understand Calvary and we really don’t understand God. Who is He? What has He done for me? Who does He say I am? What is it that He is capable of doing in me? Why would He change me? All those things point you right back to the Word. And most of us know by now, that to answer these questions we have to go searching for them…alone…not dependent on others. Working out our own faith.
Another passage that I found powerful was…
“Pride is dignity’s counterfeit. Never lose sight of that. We don’t forfeit our humility in order to get over INSECURITY”
Let me put this is my words……Humility grounds us in the understanding that God is supreme. And we are not. Humility keeps us in our place. It allows us to praise God when He blesses us and to run to Him when we are afraid. We understand that His hand off of us would be devastation. So we desire to obey and seek His face. It says that pride is its counterfeit. That is so true. So it’s like the super insecure person doesn’t turn to their knees and say “Father I am in need of you. Help me.”….no they turn to themselves and say “I am the very best. I know that isn’t really true but I will work hard and get these things and that job and wear those clothes because I DESERVE IT. I really do. The Lord is not listening and not blessing me. Doesn’t He, and others, know that I am so wonderful? Well, I’m tired of waiting for Him to move, so I’ll just move myself. I’m tired of feeling like last place. So i will just depend of me. I can make this happen faster anyway.” And there it is…they pick up pride and lay down humility all in order to overcome INSECURITY. So the selfishness sets in and they become more and more alone and unhappy. Driving others far, far away.
Beth continues saying, “God didn’t just confer (bestow) dignity to us. According to Psalm 8:5, He crowned us with it. ‘You made us a little lower than you yourself, and you have crowned us with glory and honor.’ To possess dignity is to be worthy of respect. Worthy of high esteem. Absorb this: you are worthy of respect. So am I. No matter how foolish insecurity has tried to make us feel, we have the right to dignity because God Himself gave it to us. If we really believed this truth, we wouldn’t have to mask our INSECURITY with pride. If we knew who we were and what God has conferred (bestowed) upon us, what everybody else thought of us would grow less and less significant”…….
Wow! Do you see how all this craziness of INSECURITY goes right back to NOT REALLY UNDERSTANDING GOD. The scripture says it right there “You have crowned us with glory and honor” and again in Proverbs 31 “SHE. IS. CLOTHED. WITH. STRENGTH. AND. DIGNITY.” Those are amazing/beautiful/LAVISH gifts that He has blessed us with as children of God. But we all know you can’t serve two masters. So it asks the hard questions:
* Do you really believe in God?
* Have you really experienced redemption?
* Does He live and rule in your heart?
Beth …..”Notice that God didn’t put this honor/dignity in our hands. He put it on our heads. He wrapped it as a crown right around our minds, just where we need it . Our possession of dignity is not always something we feel. It’s got to be something we know. Something we emphatically claim.”
You see these people in our lives, that cause such chaos and uproar, aren’t evil. Again…THEY ARE NOT EVIL. They are lonely. They are blinded. They are without a vision. They don’t really know what God is about and how big He is. They have bought into satan’s lie that their earthly body can do and have it all. They believed satan. So they stop talking to God and start living for self. They stopped FEELING the dignity Christ has crowned us with because they never learned what having a dignity crown was all about. Maybe they have never sought out the Lord. Maybe they became believers and then played the game. Said the right stuff but produced zero fruit. But now they find themselves bondage/enslaved to their own pride/selfishness/INSECURITY and emptiness, but pretending they have it all together. Empty eyes, cold heart, little laughter. Sold out to a worldly life.
We get so, and I MEAN SOOOOOOOO, turned off by these types of people. I am speaking for myself really. You see them in all their mean-spirited acts, selfishness of others time and money, you catch them in their millions of lies, and you see how they use others…like flat out take take take and never give anything back. Your stomach turns and you want to flee. Because if you could cut them out of your life, everything would be soooo much better. Right? Ever heard this saying “Satan dines on what we withhold from God.” Not sure who said it, but isn’t this the truth. Our “insecure people” that we deal with don’t need us to run away from them, they need us to pray for them. That God would show them how He sees them. So we have to search and dig deep, moving our own pride, and asking God to help us pray over them with a powerful faith.
Philippians 2:3-8 says “Do nothing from factional motives [through continuousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves]. Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others.”
And this is where it gets kinda hard. Because we have dealt with these people for years and we are tired. Hard to desire putting their interest above our own. We want them to just leave us alone. But if we are actively seeking the Lord we know…..let me say this agian….WE KNOW that God’s word is what we obey. Point blank. Requiring us to go back in the depths of our heart and ask God to start doing a reconstruction of our current feelings, our actions/reactions, and our frame of mind so we can serve them somehow. So that despite all their heartache they feel and bring to others….we are still being used and God is still glorified.
2 Timothy 2 The Message. “Run away from (flee, put off) infantile indulgence. Run after (pursue, put on) mature righteousness—faith, love, peace—joining those who are in honest and serious prayer before God. Refuse to get involved in inane discussions; they always end up in fights. God’s servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth, enabling them to escape the Devil’s trap, where they are caught and held captive, forced to run his errands.”
Did you really read that? I love how this version stated the last sentence…”You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart”. And that right there is why I am writing this massively wordy post!!
“You never know..”
Pure hope based of what I know of God. Faith, knowledge and personal experience that God can change them. All the while He is changing me. Because there is not a mountain that He has put in front of me that He did not make me fully equiped for.
I don’t have to run away from these people. I have to love them.
And honestly I’m not sure how that will play out. But I believe God.
There is an old praise song “I’m coming back to the heart of worship and it’s all about you, it’s all about you Jesus” you all know it. Well, the end says this “I’ll bring you more than a song” … and while writing this post I have found that God doesn’t want me to just bring to Him a song.
My greatest worship to my Creator is how I choose to live my daily life yielded to him and how I treat others. How I act and seek Him when my nerves are about to be fried and I want to tell that selfish person to just “STOP IT” or “GET OVER YOURSELF”….but I don’t. I keep my mouth closed. And I pray. That is worship. When I can’t see change but still continue to faithfully pray over them. That is worship. And when my heart stays tender to the things of God and my joy is full in Him…no matter what is going on around me. That is worship.
SHE. IS. CLOTHED. WITH. STRENGTH. AND. DIGNITY.
I will close with one last quote from Beth that I find so powerful.
“As long as we live, our self-absorption and our insecurity will walk together, holding hands and swinging them back and forth like two little girls on their way to a pretend playground they can never find. Human nature dictates that most often we will be as insecure as we are self-absorbed. The best possible way to keep from getting sucked into the superficial narcissistic mentality that money, possessions, and sensuality can satisfy and secure us is to deliberately give ourselves to something much greater…[Christ] showed us that giving, rather than getting, is the means to receiving…to find yourself, your true self, you must lose yourself in something larger.”― Beth Moore
Father I praise you for this blog. I can’t even believe you would call me back to this. May your words speaks. Oh Lord, I don’t ever want to be this person that I had to write about today. I don’t ever want to live my life so far apart from you that I seek to satisfy me and no one else. And I often just want to tell them or set them straight because I grow weary of doing good.You knew I would. That’s why you put it in your Word. Shine your light through me. Thank you that you give us hearts with deep discernment. You give us the ability to know when they are lying and not being real. You see hurt and the anger they cause. You see the stealing and the pretending. You have not made me the heavenly police so I yield to you fully knowing that you will set all things in order to bring you the most glory. You will not let it go on forever. That makes me rest in you. I love you Lord. What a joy it is to write for you. Make these words sooooo full of your fragrance and send it out to turn others back to you. Oh I love you. I love you. In Jesus name.